~TFA~

 

A very good friend once told me “f*ck it”. If there’s some girl you’ve been meaning to ask out or some place that you’ve been wanting to travel to for some time, fuck it just do it. I mean honestly what do you have to lose? If you find the courage to ask that girl out and she says no just move on, right? Right! I’m not saying use this approach for every scenario, think some things through before you decide to act on them, but if it’s something that’s been on you’re mind for awhile take that chance. It’s scary to take a chance not knowing what the outcome could be, but I promise you it’s better than not taking that chance and having a regret later on in life about it. 

In the past three years I decided to take up this “f*ck it” attitude because life is way too short. Life is way to short to sit in and wonder whether or not I should’ve accepted that particular job, started a blog,  traveled out of the country to see the world in a new light, let people finally see me for me. So yeah I travel out of the country despite everything that’s been happen around the world. I put myself in uncomfortable situations because I know that ultimately if I place myself in these situations they’ll make me a better person then I was the day before.

A prime example of this would be my last post, Y.H.S.W., which I had no difficulty writing, but actually posting and since that post I have received so much positive feedback not only from close friends, but from various people throughout different countries who have dealt with similar issues. To those people,  I thank you for all of your support. Because of this out pour of support I’ve decided to do as much as I can to give back to this community and speak about the issues I’ve had to deal with in the past with the intention to help others. Initially I was somewhat afraid to go through with this, but then again I thought to myself why not just take a chance especially if I’m helping others?  

Taking chances is all about finding out what you are truly capable of becoming. It’s about overcoming your fears and vulnerabilities while knowing that you can learn and grow. The one thing you’ll face when using the “f*ck it” approach are the doubters and those who envy you. People will tell you to prove them wrong while others will tell you to just ignore them all together. My honest advice would be not inviting them into the conversation at all. I mean if your mind is truly made up on a decision why seek external advice from someone. You know what you want to do, so just do it. So many people will tell you what they think is best, but you know what is BEST FOR YOU. Say f*ck it, take the chance, don’t look back, and enjoy the thrill. Focus on what you could potentially gain rather than what you could lose.

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Y.H.S.W.

It just occurred to me that I’m single. Literally a month after being single it hits me, like a damn brick wall. My mind has feels so drained right now and I’m not sure if it’s because of all the constant anxiety/depression I have or if it’s solely from this break up that I’ve been having a tough time going through, either way I’m going f***ing insane. I mean it hasn’t been all bad. Through this breakup I’ve learned a lot such as, my creativity for blogging and exploring things that I can create within my field such as application which I’m trying to put all of my energy into when I’m not blogging on WordPress at 3 o’clock in the morning. I’ve also sparked an interest in volunteering for Crisis Text Line, in which I’d be helping those who are literally in a crisis thinking about harming themselves or even thinking about taking their own life.

I mean it’s amazing, well not really amazing, but it just bewilders me the amount of people around the world that are similar to me. Those who experience depression and anxiety and have so much and have so many friends and family around them to support them, but yet they still feel alone… To them I pray that they find light when all is dark around them. My name is Tyler Scott and my freshman year of college I felt alone and decided to cut myself. Crazy right? Or maybe it doesn’t surprise you at all. It’s not necessarily something I’m proud of at all. It haunts me some days, but for the most part I’ve accepted that it could happen to someone like me.

I mean it can happen to anyone. That sweet girl who literally has it all – the 4.0, the best looking guy on the football team, and a job offer from a prestigious company soon as she graduates. It could happen to the person who constantly gets made fun of on a daily basis. The thing is with people similar to me who have gone through suicidal thoughts or even self harm is that despite what people say, we aren’t looking for attention. I mean at the end of the day yeah we want someone who can be there for us, but isn’t that us all. Isn’t that what a relationship is at the end of the day? Being there for someone whether they need you there or they say “Just leave me alone?” It just amazes me when people say that cutters or people who are thinking about suicide are attention seekers. That’s the LAST thing WE are.

But yeah like I was saying I’ve gone through a recent break up with literally the girl of my dreams. Haha yeah laugh it up. Yeah I have a sweet side, who doesn’t though. But through this break up I’ve felt more alone then ever. It even brought me back to those same thoughts I had my freshman year which made me one to just cut away. But I’m stronger than that and I made myself a promise I’d never do it again because I knew that I was worth something, that I had purpose, and that I wasn’t truly alone. I’ve been in a shell for what’s literally felt live a century. To have someone you care about so much and for things just to stop working… man I’d give up travelling the world just to have you back, and those who KNOW me know what travelling means to me. But this post isn’t about my breakup.

This post is for those who feel alone, for those who feel like they have absolutely no one, for those who cut or have ever thought about cutting or suicide. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT YOU THINK. PLEASE HAVE HOPE. Have hope that everything will work out. Because it will. Take my word. A person who has literally watched a close family member die everyday in front of his own very eyes from dementia. I literally had to watch my grandfather die in a hospice facility because he forgot how to eat and drink. Alzheimer’s and dementia is a b****. The first and hardest death I’ve ever had to deal with because we were so close. Take it from someone who had to watch all his close friends graduate and he had to stay and extra year. I felt lost and felt like I had no sense of purpose. Take it from someone who meets the girl they’ve always wished for and you and her travel all around the world and go through so much with her prejudice mother just to make things work only to find out a couple years later that “It’s not working out…” It kills me inside, and I’ve tried to just isolate myself from everything and everyone and those same thoughts that I had years ago about harming or taking my own life popped back up, but something inside of me said, “You have so much left to experience, this isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning.” HAVE HOPE. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. WORK HARD AND YOU WILL PREVAIL. You are young, you may not have all the answers and that’s okay.

For the people who have friends that have gone through or are thinking about self harm or suicide. Be there for them. I’m not saying be a damn babysitter, honestly that’s the last thing we want is someone ALWAYS breathing down are neck watching our every move. Ask how are day is or simply just try to help us get our mind off of things, especially for those that you know that suffer from anxiety and depression. For those who suffer, you know exactly how much of a b**** it is to deal with both of these issues. Not fun. We are not attention seekers. We just want someone who can be there, the signs are there, if you watch closely you’ll see them and if you do try to approach them in a civil way. Let’s STOP bullying people. It’s hard to practice kindness, but in all honestly that’s the one thing we need as people is to be friendly and kind to each other. And just LISTEN. Not all of us want a suggestion or a response, sometimes all we want is for someone to just hear what we are thinking and or are going through. That’s it. This is me, being open and straight to the point as always. Now let’s see who takes this advice and runs with it.

YOU HAVE SELF WORTH.

~Madridista~

Madrid is truly a golden metropolis worth exploring if you have the time and the money to spend. In all honesty, there aren’t many cities in the world that compare to that of the Big Apple, but I would put the city of Madrid up there along with New York City.  Ever since I can remember I have always wanted to visit Spain, Madrid and Barcelona specifically. There were many reasons as to why I’ve always wanted to visit Spain, but for one it was the food. Now for those of you that know of me, I am known as that “skinny guy,” but for those of you who personally know me, I’m that “skinny guy” that has a bottomless pit for a stomach. To be honest that’s one of the main reasons why I want to travel, the FOOD. I mean why not right? If there is one dish that you MUST try when in Spain, it’s the authentic Paella dish. This famous rice dish is pretty much known all throughout the world and you can add anything to the dish from chicken to chorizo to shrimp, just to name a few. I never say this, but it’s literally to die for. If you don’t try out the famous Paella dish or the chocolate churros, you are truly missing out.

Santiago Bernabeu. Home of the most iconic football teams in the WORLD, Real Madrid. Oh my Lord. Words cannot even describe how overjoyed I was to visit my favorite soccer teams stadium. Now it’s on my list to visit every wonder of the world, but in all honesty this felt like seeing a wonder of the world. Say what you want, but I kind of teared up while taking this tour. To keep it short I’ll say this much. There’s nothing like taking a tour of your favorite teams stadium, learning about the history of the club, seeing all the trophies won, and being to walk on the field that the team plays on. The best part probably wasn’t even taking the tour, but being in a bar full of Madridistas watching the Champions League game against Napoli.

Puerto del Sol, Cibeles Palace, the Royal Palace of Madrid, and Retiro Park are just some of the few beautiful places to visit while in Madrid. The photo above is of my favorite places I was able to visit while in Madrid, Parque del Buen Retiro. Originally laid out by Felipe IV, El Retiro was later opened to the general public in 1868 to enjoy. From the aroma of life that surrounds the park itself to the cafes located throughout to the artificial lake where the monument of Alfonso XII sits and watches over, Retiro Park is without a doubt a must see when visiting this amazing city. My advice – if time allows definitely ride the boats out into the lake. This was probably the best way to end my stay in Madrid I wouldn’t change it for the world… or would I?

From the rich history to the signature dishes and the beautiful architecture, Madrid is truly a breathtaking place for people all over the world to visit. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I’d ever have the opportunity to travel over to Madrid, I just wish the stay was much longer than what it was, but regardless of how long the stay was it was an experience I will never forget. The people, the sights, the food, and aimlessly walking around the city with my best friend are memories I will always cherish. Walking throughout this golden metropolis, I truly felt as if I belonged, I truly felt like a Madridista.

~Love~

Love. Most people spend their entire lives trying to figure out what it means. For most, they long for a love that never ends. Someone they can hold, talk and listen to, and just grow with. Others you could say don’t really love their partners but more so the idea of their partner. Love. The most easiest but complicated feeling in the world. If you truly love someone why is it so difficult to show? Now this doesn’t apply for everyone, but for some it does. Love is about friendship and being there for one another. Deep conversations and compromising between one another. Listening and doing things that you necessarily don’t enjoy doing, but do anyway because your partner enjoys the hell out of spending his time reading those corny comic books from the 80’s. Love isn’t and shouldn’t be some half ass feeling. It’s about making mistakes and being willing to stick by that person’s side no matter how frustrated you are with them. Am I  somewhat right or did I completely miss the idea of what love truly is?

Many people have their own definitions of what they think love is. You may or may not agree upon my DEFINITION OF LOVE IS, BUT what it comes  down to is being there for that special person whoever they may be. Love is simple and complicated all at the same time, which is why so many people drive themselves insane just thinking about the thought of it.  Some say if you truly love someone set them free and if they make their way back to you then it’s mean to be. Others disagree and say if you really love someone than they’re worth fighting for. If you love someone be honest with them and stand up for them. Love is what keeps us up at all hours of the night, it makes us do things we necessarily wouldn’t do, but love is what we as humans do best. Love is letting go of someone you care about so they are able to grow, and hopefully they find their way back to you. So for the people that believe all hope is lost for them to find love, have hope. Love is feeling we may be able to experience with that special person. It’s tricky, but worth it. The worst thing you can do is search for it. Don’t. In the mean time, just FOCUS ON YOU, and it’ll eventually find you. “True love is falling in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time”. ~

Madridista – 4.15.17.